So yesterday my ex made his partial migration down to his new basement digs. And we slept separately for the first official night. It was different, but good. I'm thinking this arrangement may have potential for success beyond the trial period... but we shall see. Depends on whether he truly allows me the privacy I need and the freedom to spend time with the friends that I have sorely neglected during the two and a half years of our marriage in order to be spared from his jealous tirades. At least I can get back to blogging again without worrying that he will be reading over my shoulder, or asking for textual details. I don't really wish to be secretive about this; but I hope to be able to write without the confines of self censorship.
Yesterday I scored a serving position at a nice little steakhouse just about 10 miles south of my town. Although the B&B is crazy busy now, I aniticipate the usual winter slump to begin by the end of October, so it's a relief to know that I'll have some back-up income. Between that and the extra rental money I'll be getting from the ex (provided he keeps working), I should be able to easily survive the slow season. A measure of financial security provides me with a much needed sense of peace. If that can be coupled by a positive alteration in my relationship with Patrick and a reconnection with my friends and my creative muses, I will be reaching a better place in the coming weeks.
I hope I can also reconnect with a blogging group. Many of my regular contacts from the beginning of the year seem to have stopped writing. Is anybody still out there??
Pamela
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Six Word Saturday
Feeling more independent by the minute.
The ex hooked up cable in the basement today so his stuff should soon follow.
Have a job interview for part time work at a nearby steakhouse that I applied to months ago. Thought they had blown me off but I guess not. I hope that comes through. Only a ten minute drive! (a big deal when you live in an out the way, small town like Northfield)
My B&B is busy busy busy because there are 2 colleges in town and all the kids are returning to the dorms. September is the upswing in my seasonal cycle.
I'll be mowing the lawn later and eating something barbequed. (in keeping with the holiday tradition)
Happy Labor Day weekend to all!!
Pamela
The ex hooked up cable in the basement today so his stuff should soon follow.
Have a job interview for part time work at a nearby steakhouse that I applied to months ago. Thought they had blown me off but I guess not. I hope that comes through. Only a ten minute drive! (a big deal when you live in an out the way, small town like Northfield)
My B&B is busy busy busy because there are 2 colleges in town and all the kids are returning to the dorms. September is the upswing in my seasonal cycle.
I'll be mowing the lawn later and eating something barbequed. (in keeping with the holiday tradition)
Happy Labor Day weekend to all!!
Pamela
Friday, September 4, 2009
She's back...
Where have I been? (you may be wondering)
My life pulled a huge 180 in the past 6 months. I divorced my husband due to what would best be described as chronic meaness. Toss in perpetual unemployment, an ill temper, and a controlling, narcissistic personality, and... well, you get the picture.
Okay so. I should be single now, right? Not exactly.
He's still living with me... primarily because he has yet to accumulate the necessary funds to move out and I'm just too soft hearted to send him packing. But also because, damn it, I do still have feelings for him and he is tenaciously hanging on and insisting that a new start can be made and he can be more responsible and a better person and ya da ya da ya da. I've heard it before and it hasn't come to pass, but being eternally hopeful, I'm giving things a chance. He is working now (5 days and counting). He is also planning to move into my basement and pay actual rent. On the downside, he has no vehicle, except for an old motorcycle that belonged to my first husband and sat unused and unloved in my garage for somewhere around 10 or 12 years. So far, I've spent about $500 trying to fix it for him and get it titled and insured. $141 of that cost was incurred when he got pulled over for riding without insurance. That wasn't the fine, just the impound fee.
Main problem is that the damn thing only runs when it's in the mood. We've named it, we talk to it, we send it positive healing thoughts, but it still continues to run for awhile and then die, and run for awhile, and die again. Currently it's dead, which means that he took my car to work, leaving me without wheels. That isn't such a huge problem since I work at home and live in a small town... but still. The guy needs to get a car. And it will probably be at least a year before his credit recovers sufficiently for that to even be a possibility.
So. We'll sink a bit more money in the bike and hope for the best. At least now it will be his money because today he gets his first paycheck. Woo hoo! It's only been since early March when he got his last one. But I'm pleased and hoping that this job will work out.
The basement situation will be interesting. I don't really know if it's enough distance for me, but we'll see. It's a two month trial attempt at salvaging the relationship by creating some boundaries and some much needed privacy. We currently share an attic that is basically like a studio apartment. And... until recently, he was out of work and always home. It's hard to miss someone when they NEVER GO AWAY.
And that, my friends, is the update. I shall try to get back to my blogging world and reading and writing and sharing with you all. I've missed it.
Pamela
My life pulled a huge 180 in the past 6 months. I divorced my husband due to what would best be described as chronic meaness. Toss in perpetual unemployment, an ill temper, and a controlling, narcissistic personality, and... well, you get the picture.
Okay so. I should be single now, right? Not exactly.
He's still living with me... primarily because he has yet to accumulate the necessary funds to move out and I'm just too soft hearted to send him packing. But also because, damn it, I do still have feelings for him and he is tenaciously hanging on and insisting that a new start can be made and he can be more responsible and a better person and ya da ya da ya da. I've heard it before and it hasn't come to pass, but being eternally hopeful, I'm giving things a chance. He is working now (5 days and counting). He is also planning to move into my basement and pay actual rent. On the downside, he has no vehicle, except for an old motorcycle that belonged to my first husband and sat unused and unloved in my garage for somewhere around 10 or 12 years. So far, I've spent about $500 trying to fix it for him and get it titled and insured. $141 of that cost was incurred when he got pulled over for riding without insurance. That wasn't the fine, just the impound fee.
Main problem is that the damn thing only runs when it's in the mood. We've named it, we talk to it, we send it positive healing thoughts, but it still continues to run for awhile and then die, and run for awhile, and die again. Currently it's dead, which means that he took my car to work, leaving me without wheels. That isn't such a huge problem since I work at home and live in a small town... but still. The guy needs to get a car. And it will probably be at least a year before his credit recovers sufficiently for that to even be a possibility.
So. We'll sink a bit more money in the bike and hope for the best. At least now it will be his money because today he gets his first paycheck. Woo hoo! It's only been since early March when he got his last one. But I'm pleased and hoping that this job will work out.
The basement situation will be interesting. I don't really know if it's enough distance for me, but we'll see. It's a two month trial attempt at salvaging the relationship by creating some boundaries and some much needed privacy. We currently share an attic that is basically like a studio apartment. And... until recently, he was out of work and always home. It's hard to miss someone when they NEVER GO AWAY.
And that, my friends, is the update. I shall try to get back to my blogging world and reading and writing and sharing with you all. I've missed it.
Pamela
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
The Magic Door
our home & business
Binkley on patrol
all calm in the neighborhood
3 out of 4
